Confidence is something I believe very few can truly claim. I think many of us, myself included, are great about exuding confidence but it’s often an act for survival.
As a teenager I did the typical “I need to fit in” thing and tried to impress people by the clothes I wore or the make-up. But gradually I learnt, through much self exploration that it wasn’t necessarily what I wore or how much make-up I wore, it was about my personality. During my 20s, I also discovered that my moods could often reflect how I dressed or if I wore make-up.
Whilst going through a particularly dark time of my life, I wore baggy clothes, pulled my hair only into a ponytail and never wore make-up. It made sense to me that I felt like crap, I should look like how I felt inside.
Fashion can either control our emotions, our emotions can control the fashion we choose or how we look, of if we’re brave enough to take a step back, we can have the best of both worlds.
I love clothes! I love shoes and I would say, my hair is my best asset physically. I was never comfortable within my own skin and I think that’s why I used clothes and style obsessively to create this protective barrier that I thought the rest of the world would accept. They didn’t because I didn’t accept it!
During my dark times, I didn’t care how I looked, I also didn’t care about myself and was very harsh on me as a person. Neither way is healthy and I wanted to explore this to hopefully help others feel that bit more balanced for themselves.
The fashion and style industries get a bad reputation for making girls feel like they should look a certain way. The truth is, no one should ever have that power over any of us. I love fashion and I love make-up, but if some days I just want to sit in my comfortable hoodies with tracksuit pants, with my hair a mess and no make-up, that’s absolutely fine with me. The teenage me would have berated that idea and the 20 something dark self would have shrugged and wondered if there was any other way?
In my job, I have to wear a uniform shirt, but have quite a free rein over my bottom half, shoes, [although need comfortable ones], hair and make-up. Some days I wear black trousers, no make-up and my hair tied up. Other days I will wear a skirt, hair down and straight or plaited with some pretty eye-shadow and lipstick. Either day is fine with me and the confident person can accept either style. Here’s the reason…
I no longer feel I need to impress anyone by my looks. I’m under no illusions I am pretty and I don’t wear make-up on those days I do because of that reason. i wear it because I like wearing it. Choosing to wear a skirt has no other reason than I like skirts and enjoy wearing them. I’m comfortable enough in myself to know that regardless what I do, I am still me each day.
The truth really is confidence is merely finding your comfort within you and once you do, your style will reflect you. People will see the real you because you won’t be using style to create a smoke screen of hope of acceptance, you’ll be portraying the person you are by the styles that compliment you on each day.