My Letter To My union rep

If Guide Dogs had a union rep, this would be my letter to them.


Dear Mr Union Rep,

I’m a nine year old Guide Dog named Bailey and I am writing to you to explain my disgruntledness toward my owner. Sure, she feeds me, [not regularly enough In my opinion], she brushes me, takes me to the toilet, walks me, [sometimes too much and to places I don’t like], and she plays with me and loves me. But there are several things i’d like to change.

  1. I need pigs ears at least 3 times a week. None of this cods wallop that “Bailey you need to stay slim”. I work hard and deserve more than one pigs ear every two weeks. A boy puts on a little weight over Christmas and all of a sudden he’s on a starvation trial.
  2. Carrots on a weekend is not good enough. What happened to my five a day? Apples should be included to.
  3. Making me work in the rain should be illegal! It’s mean! I get wet and cold and I’m not even allowed to wear a coat.
  4. I should have toys all over the house. Who cares about it being tidy? I don’t! Why the heck she bought a toy box I’ll never know.
  5. When I’m naughty, I shouldn’t be punished. Putting me back on my lead when I didn’t come back on recall is not fair. There was sniffs and I must sniff when there are sniffs. Don’t you understand? I’m a dog, we sniff!
  6. While we’re on the subject of sniffing, I shouldn’t be told off if I sniff something in harness. Again, dog… sniffing… that’s what we do!
  7. When she says we’re going somewhere, can she make it straight away? I’m busy. I need to make room in my busy schedule of sleeping and barking for her, I haven’t got time to wait around while she sorts her life out.
  8. I think horses should be banned! She comes home stinking of them and won’t even let me eat horse pooh. How wrong is that?
  9. When people want to feed me or stroke me, she should let me. Right? Right?
  10. And finally, as I feel the need for a snooze right about now, could she not kiss me in public. I’m almost 9 for goodness sake and someone might be watching.

Yours sincerely,

The hardest working Guide Dog in……

Lord Bailey

This Post Has One Comment

  1. Poor Bailey! He’s welcone to holiday with me anytime! Lol.

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