January Blues

I know I can moan and whine with the best of them but it’s been a bloody awful week. I had a total melt down last night that even included considering giving up riding. I know! I know! But I was just in a funk and I couldn’t shift it.

Not having work and more to the point, not having money to live independently away from my parents and have my own horses so I can pursue my dreams of competing had really got to me. Had spent all day trying to research if other people had travelled in the job shoes I want to who is also blind but I guess they either came up against it like I have and gave up or they’re keeping very quiet because I found very little.

I love horses and giving up riding is just out of the question. But I’m frustrated with that as I have been talking with some friends about going on a riding holiday with them but am afraid that people wouldn’t be so happy if I showed up and was like, hey, I’m here and they’re like, oh wow, you’re blind well you’re not riding. Similarly, if you tell people beforehand, that can just be as bad. But I don’t want to limit the ladies so I looked at the RDA holidays which appears you can only go on if you’re a member. So that’s another avenue closed off. When looking last night, I’d not heard from the RDA about my application so I decided to email them this morning to check they’d received everything. I got a prompt email to say they had all my up to date info so I guess that’s that until they can offer me a space.

It’s not that I don’t love riding where I do. I absolutely love it and would hopefully still ride there but If I could get in with the RDA, there would be opportunities open to me that a mainstream yard couldn’t offer. Riding holidays for one. one of those holidays includes taking care of a pony for a week. Perfect right?

Anyway, that’s a movement in the right direction and I must continue to be patient.

I also had an incident this week that knocked my confidence. I was walking across the foyer in Asda when I slightly brushed a trolley with my side and this lady suddenly collapsed. I have no idea if me touching the trolley had an impact as the lady was on a stick and told first aiders later she had felt dizzy and there apparently were two trolleys there so I have no clue what happened but I was in shock and felt simply awful not to mention useless.

So was feeling a bit fed up. But slowly feeling more normal. Or as normal as I can at least. 🙂

Hope everyone has a great weekend. Hugs, MJ

This Post Has 2 Comments

  1. What a sucky week Marie 🙁 What a fab idea of having a riding holiday though! How about offering references ie state when inquiring/booking that you’re blind, but can provide a reference for riding ability from hack leaders/RSO? That way you’d be honest, but potentially without holding back. You can also get riders insurance for £5/month, lots of which you can cancel so you only pay a month or two: an offer of insuring yourself might help too?

    Do you know what I found not long ago? When doing an NHS application, there was a disability scheme, whereby if you were disabled and fit the basic criteria (2.1 degree), they’d take you straight to interview – no faffing with the intermediate stages. I don’t know if certain companies or sectors off this too? Might be worth chasing up: maybe the Job Centre might know?

    I really feel for you Marie: wish I was in work, and in the kind of post where I could hire you. I know what a genuine, friendly and hard-working employee you’d be!

    It does sound like you’d nothing to do with the older lady’s fall btw, though it’s easier to say that than it is to remove the worry.

  2. I know what it’s like to become frustrated about not having work. I finished my TAFE study last year and decided to look at finding work. It can be frustrating when you call employers to look at what they have to offer and they either don’t get back to you or if they get back to you it takes ages. so i sort of know how you feel and i’ve always managed to do my best to keep you smiling mj because there are a lot of things we share and seeking employment is one of those things. although i am now living independently which only happened as a stroke of luck. My grandmother has altsheimers and she wanted to move over to our side of town. One of our neighbours was thinking of selling up and moving to his son and daughter in law’s house so we bought the house directly across the road from us. To cut a long story short, my grandmother wasn’t happy there and left and went back home after 6 weeks. But at least moving out of home for me was a big step that i was more than happy to take. But on the employment front, the agency i’m currently with is closing and i’ve been linked up with a new employment agency and i have the beginnings of a transition on feb12th. so we shall see how that goes. Feel free to email me if you want to correspond privately about some of what i’ve said feel free. i think you still have my address don’t you marie? i won’t republish it here because the blog is a public forum and just about anybody could grab my email address off here. hugs mj. Kyle Cogan.

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