Fed Up

Hey,
I hate whingeing, it’s one of my pet hates. Drives me nuts when people do it. And here I am, complaining again. I could go on a little rampage about how shitty life is in general. And it is right now.

Last week, uni told me I wasn’t even registered on the degree programme, only the certificate. I thought I’d handled that really well at the time, today tells me a different story. I feel so lost, with no direct path and almost like I’m in the middle of no where with nothing to cling too.

I’m looking for places to live and I am continuously questioning my ability to do it independently and that’s even if I can get over the other hurdles. Life is never easy, that I understand, yet it continually seems to shit on my parade.

I think I’m getting good at something or am reasonably good at it and then someone tells me I’m hardly even mediocre. I just wanna be good at something, wanna shine, wanna live in my own place and get a life. My social life is non existent, friends are miles away, some hundreds, some thousands. Am I going to be alone in this hell hole forever? Trying to do my best and geting nothing back? Should I quit now? Damn sure as hell feels like the best thing to do. Yeah I know, cowardly right? Someone give me an alternative and I’ll take it.

Just wanna cry.
MJ

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