It has been a very strange yet productive and crazy week filled with personal successes and prominent irritation. I’ve learnt for a while now that I desperately need my personal space and anyone invading upon that is likely to feel the wrath of me.
I’ve been writing quite a bit again and enjoying a good sleeping routine. school work has been in progress and still enjoying it. My NUS card has apparently been dispatched to my student union so waiting for that to be delivered. Filled in my volunteer forms for guide dogs and sent them off as well as accompanying mum to the hospital where Bails enjoyed lots of work. I’ve generally felt great.
However, someone, who shall remain nameless has been getting on my last nerve this week. I’m uncertain as I’m sure that person is why they do and say some of the things they do but after a chat yesterday, I feel that’s all cleared up. but this is for sure, living on my own is looking lek a must. I discussed this with my best friend and came to the conclusion that cohabiting is just not for me. I’m way too independent and self-preserving. I’m not sure I’ll ever want to cohabit. And yes, maybe I’ll become a lonely old woman with no children to take care of me in my old age but I really just cannot see the family scenario working in my future. Who knows? Maybe that will change. Life is an adventure and I’m just beginning another chapter in it. As a writer I can truly accept that life is filled with changes and progress and that sometimes, things do happen for a reason and worrying about them is not always healthy or productive.
Since seeing California again, I have truly learnt to love life and achieve what I can. This course is giving me a new chance and who knows, maybe this is finally the right direction and maybe its not. I hardly dare to hope for great things but as long as I continue to achieve and build on my successes then all I can do is hope for great things from life. And if people are there along the way, sobeit. And if not, well, I enjoyed the part of the journey they were on with me. No more giving, giving, giving. There has to be something in return. No point putting all of my effort into a project that is clearly dead and gone.
I’m not afraid to be alone, it just frees up more time to be academically successful and become a better writer.
that’s my philosophical sermon over for today. heehee. hugs MJ