We decided to head back to Manchester a day early because of the promised snow. I was happy to see my familia but sense a lot of drama went down while I was away. Something doesn’t feel right with my parents right now but fuck knows what that is.
Aaron’s been sad the past few days which has made me sad. I know he misses his fam, I know that feeling, but I kept giving him the chance to stay home with them. just hope he enjoys new year here with me and Bailey and then his birthday. I’m going to try and make it a happy one for him, he deserves it. I love him very much and want him to have a birthday that I would have loved to have had. I enjoyed most of my birthdays growing up, and want him to have a great 21ST. I remember how memorable mine was, so his has to be happy too.
I sometimes wonder if we’re too different, in the sense of what he likes to do and what I like to do. on the whole, it’s very similar but going out and “getting smashed”, as he puts it is no longer something I desire to do. i prefer to remain in control of myself and not get angry like I do if I’m totally ass holed. But I don’t want him to change who he is for me, that’s a mistake I almost made this year. so that brings me to the title. I’m looking forward to 2010 and making a new start. Uni and volunteering should be the start of that, along with moving out but being me, and not losing sight of who I am and enjoying life is something I’m going to aim to do. If people don’t like it, tough luck. Be with me for me, not for what you think I should be. lol, there’s a poem in there somewhere huh?
Well, probably write again before 2010 but if I don’t, happy new year and hope 2010 is an improvement on this year for sure. hugs MJ