razors, Hearts and Tears
Caitlin entered the kitchen with the affects of the alcohol swooning her system. Laughing, she put the glass on the side, swaying gently as JC walked up behind her. Wrapping his strong arms around her waist, she leaned back against him, his lips caressing her neck seductively. Her long blonde hair cascaded down her back as he pulled his fingers through it. A sensation of happiness surged her stomach as she turned and lifted her lips toward his. His eyes were warm and inviting, his hands strong and sensual and Caitlin wondered where this man had come from? Taking his hand, she giggled quietly, the chemistry flowing between the two electrifying.
“You are amazing!” She kissed him again; a sensation of pure desire powering through her body. Nodding, he pulled her tight to him and breathed in her scent.
“You’re beautiful!” His kisses were strong and sweet. The clock read nine thirty and they had both drank a considerable amount yet neither of them, despite the overwhelming urge to do so, had made the ultimate move. They were enjoying this and it seemed natural and easy. If Caitlin didn’t know better she would have said this was how you fall in love.
“Did I tell you how sorry I was?” his strong, caressing lips touch her slender neck again and a tingling sensation surged all the way through her, causing her weakness to strengthen.
“Yeah, but let’s not talk about that now,” Turning back to the counter, avoiding his lips as their sweetness seemed to overpower her in ways she had never known possible before, Caitlin opened a bottle of bud and handed it to him. Watching her, this seemed what he was born to do, fall in lust with a girl that had more going for her than her sexual experiences. He knew Caitlin was no pure as white virgin but he also suspected that she had not experienced sex to the degree of some of his previous encounters. Walking outside together, Caitlin felt as though the world had nothing but good in it and sure most of that feeling stemmed from her alcohol induced state but a small inkling inside of her heart told her he was good. Sure, he may be a gangster and run the streets but he was at least good and true to her. A sense of excitement filled her at every thought of his street status and Caitlin could not help but wonder what adventures he would take her on during their time together.
“Em, you seen Lexie?” Caitlin asked plopping herself across from Emily and Cory. Emily was having a great time. This weekend had surpassed her expectations. Not that Emily’s expectations had been high in the slightest; if she was honest they had been virtually non existent but here was Cory and her sharing laughs and drinks and burgers. He squeezed her hand as they chatted about skiing the following winter. Making plans was always a good sign in Emily’s book. Planning for a future meant there was a future at all, right? Em turned to the sound of her blonde friend’s pretty voice and grinned.
“I have no idea, Cait,” Emily hugged Caitlin and JC and Cory smiled with pride as the girls they both liked had a bond which neither guy felt jealous of or threatened by. “
I’ll go find her,” Caitlin stood and patted Emily as
she giggled drunkenly. “Make sure she doesn’t puke in the pool again,” Caitlin warned JC and Cory who both proceeded to fall into fits of laughter. edit text
“Aight,” JC promised as Caitlin sashayed toward the house.
“She’s so cool!” Emily exclaimed, leaning on the chair she was sitting in, coking her head to one side in a drunken stupor.
“I know,” JC smiled with pride. “I’ll go and start cleaning up the barbecue.” He rose and headed off confidently toward the barbecue pit that was smouldering now. Cory turned back to Emily who was drooling on her own arm as she slept. “Jay? I’m going to take Emily to bed,” He pointed to the girl who was lolling happily on the chair with a stupid grin on her porcelain face. JC gave Cory the thumbs up as he lifted Emily into his puny arms and headed toward the house. “Aw, Em, you look so cute!” He whispered to her at which point Emily’s blue eyes opened and she smiled. “You too!” She told him and closing them again Cory sighed with happiness. She had finally noticed him.
Caitlin knelt by Alexia as she bandaged her profusely bleeding arm.
“Why?” Caitlin asked in a monotone whisper.
“To release the pain,” Lexie sighed her eyes red from tears. “It’s OK for you and Em, you have boyfriends or soon to be boyfriends.”
“That’s what this is about?” Caitlin continued to wrap the bandage tightly around the girl’s arm. She had refused to see a doctor and Caitlin was a qualified first aider so she saw no reason why Alexia’s wishes couldn’t be granted. She would have preferred for Lexie to see a doctor but she knew she’d spend all night arguing with her on the subject if she pushed it. Rolling her ocean blue eyes Caitlin wondered what was going on inside of her friend’s head? “What about Dan?” she tried, regretting the words as they spilled from her mouth.
“He was nothing but a married man who saw me as a piece of ass,” She snapped hostilely. “like every other guy has ever seen me as!” Fat tears rolled down her pale cheeks causing her mascara to streak like pencil marks.
“Lexie!” Caitlin puled her friend tight into a hug and allowed the girl’s sorrow to wash over her. “Lex, having a boyfriend isn’t the be all and end all of life. Girl, there’s so much more to life than just boys. The right one will come along at some point and usually it’ll be when you’re least expecting him to show up. Lex, you have us! And we’ll never ditch you!”
“You did,” Lexie raised her head angrily at the blonde headed beauty before her. “You go off with him and never invite me along, so don’t you dare say you’ve never ditched me for him, because you have!” She pushed Caitlin’s arms away and lay on her bed.
“If that’s how you feel,” Caitlin rose sadly, all traces of alcohol gone from her sombre face as she retreated to the bathroom to dispose of the cloths and to wash her hands. As the cool water ran over her fingers she wondered what kind of thoughts and feelings must make a person want to bleed. And as she washed her hands and allow tears of sorrow to run down her cheeks for her best friend, Lexie was sobbing hard into her pillow, keeping her hands tightly under her face to prevent further cutting.
No one understood. No one got it! She was hurting and the pain wouldn’t go away. The razors helped it, eased it a little but the pain of rejection and unloving remained inside of her like a poison forever coursing her veins; killing her inch by inch as it surged through her system.
Tears marked her pillow as her cheeks got hot and the familiar sensation of her airways blocking with emotion overcame her. The room was dark and melancholy like her mood and glancing over at her table, she felt a gulp of emotion take over her as she spotted the picture of her mother.
“Why? Why always me?” She burst and picking up her television remote she aimed it at the wall and with a bang it fell broken on the floor. Lexie glared at the door, daring anyone to come in. But she knew they wouldn’t. Most of them were outside and even if her friend was in her room or the bathroom still, she wouldn’t come in fear of repercussions.
Caitlin walked out of the bathroom and came face to face with JC. His cologne was Armani and his arms were around her. He saw despair in her sky blue eyes.
“Come on,” his voice was low and husky as he led her to her room. Pulling her to sit beside him, he wrapped a strong arm around her. “Sup, ma?”
She took a pensive sigh before responding to him.
“Lexie cuts,” She blurted quietly. “She cut tonight. I bandaged her up and she’s angry with the world. And as usual, it’s someone’s fault. Today, it’s Emily and me. She’s angry because you and I are dating and it looks like Cory and Em will be together before long too.”
“Wait?” A smile crept on to his face with an air of disbelief. “She’s angry because you guys are dating?” raising his thick eyebrows, JC felt comprehension cover him like a dark cloud. that had been why Alexia was trying to get his and Cory’s attention earlier by flirting outrageously. It all made sense now. He had considered that she was trying to make Dan jealous but that clearly was not the case now.
“That’s the basis of it,” Caitlin nodded in confirmation.
“That’s fucked up!” he said harshly, a look of anger filling his dark face. Lexie was blaming Caitlin and Emily for her not having a boyfriend? That made him laugh with disdain in his young heart. “She can’t possibly blame you and Em, just because you’ve found guys you like who don’t have no baggage.”
“Jay,” Caitlin laughed gently as his harsh words escaped him. Yet his bluntness no matter how harsh it was, spoke volumes of only truth.
“I’m being real, girl,” He leaned back on the bed, his hands wondering to his baggy jeans pockets. Pulling out a baggy and a few pieces of roller papers, he looked at her and smiled. “Want a blunt?”
“Sure,” She lay down on the bed, weariness taking over her. He expertly rolled the paper around the green plant and licked the edge as he combined it all. Handing it to her with a lighter, she took it and lit the joint with no difficulty. Dragging on the earthy smelling sweet, freshness, Caitlin felt herself relax immensely. Handing the joint to him she coughed expertly and he glanced at her sideways as he smoked.
Taking a deep hit and allowing the smoke to cause his vocal chords to rasp more than usual, he spoke to her. “You know what? You ain’t no good girl, you’s gonna be my gangsta bitch!” Leaning her head onto his broad shoulder, closing her eyes for a split second as he traced his fingers across her chest, Caitlin realised she’d be whatever he wanted her to be.
Cory watched Emily as she slept on her bed. the room was cool and the noise from outside minimal as he rested a hand on hers. He’d taken her shoes off and lay her comfortably in bed and now he sat and watched the girl who had just given him more hope than any other person had ever done in his life. Her eyes occasionally flickered open to spy where she was but when she spotted him a smile crept across the cherry bud lips and she’d fall back to sleep. He could hear voices from Caitlin’s room, gently talking and laughing. He smiled. JC was a good guy after all of what he had thought the first night he had met him. If Cory could make Emily smile the way JC seemed to effortlessly make Caitlin smile, then Cory would be a happy man. Lexie hadn’t been seen since the incident with Caitlin and Dan in the pool. something about Lexie had changed recently and Cory did not know what that was. She seemed different somehow as though the weight of the world was borne upon only her shoulders. Sure she had a habit of over dramatising things but even Cory knew that this was more than that.
“Cory?” Emily whispered hoarsely from her pillow.
“Yeah, em?” He asked touching her cheek with one finger. Smiling she sat up.
“Can you get me some water, please?” He nodded and walked out of her room, closing the door behind him gently. as he entered the hall way he could smell marijuana and he knew where it was coming from. As he walked toward the kitchen, the front door slammed shut.
“What is all this noise?” Kiara looked positively angry. Throwing her keys down on the counter she strode over to the sound system and hit the power key. Her eyebrows were furrowed with anger. “What’s going on? where’s Caitlin, Emily, and Alexia?” She didn’t know Cory or at least she didn’t remember him that well. laughter came from the back yard and callie sped inside dripping water everywhere.
“Out!” Kiara yelled outside the back porch. “Party’s over! turning back to Cory who held a glass of water in his hands, her beady black eyes narrowed with danger. ‘Where are my roommates?” she hissed. Kiara had not had the greatest of days and at every turn she had run into someone she had no desire to talk too. So to come home to this organised chaos was not her idea of heaven.
“Stupid fucking dog, get outside!” Kiara yelled loudly at Callie who whimpered and cowered. At that, a door opened and footsteps were heard.
“What the fuck do you think you’re doing?” Caitlin’s face was flushed with anger now. Behind her stood the menacing figure of JC. His face contorted with rage his eyes flashing dangerously and his hand suspiciously on his hip.
“I could ask you the same thing!” Kiara hadn’t noticed JC just then and glared hard at Caitlin. “Your fucking dog needs to be under control and why are all these people in the house? Where’s Emily and Alexia?” kiara’s tone cracked with frustration and Caitlin’s eyes filled with tears of fury.
“Emily’s in bed and Alexia’s sleeping too,” Caitlin covered up for Lexie who did not need kiara’s attitude right now. “But wanna tell me why you see fit to yell at my dog?” Caitlin folded her arms defensively across her chest and Kiara turned toward her with an air of ultimate hate now. Leaning in toward her, she enunciated every syllable.
“Because, you, never, control, her!” Her face was inches from Caitlin’s and Caitlin backed away cautiously.
“Ever,” JC had leapt forward and had Kiara around the throat now. “Talk to my girlfriend like that again, I swear to God bitch, I’ll fuck you up!” He growled through gritted teeth.
Kiara’s eyes widened with penetrable fear and Caitlin felt both scared and appreciative of JC’s actions. His eyes were narrowed into slits and Cory knew instinctively the hand that wasn’t gripping Kiara’s throat was nestled on a gun.
“Dude,” Cory said in a shaking tone, glancing urgently from Kiara to Caitlin and finally to JC.
“Shit girl!” JC loosened his grip but did not relinquish his hold on the girl. “You think you’re all that and look down your fucking nose at people not to mention try and control every aspect of this household but the minute you disrespect my girl, you disrespect me and I don’t stand for that shit!” His voice was almost unrecognisable to Caitlin as she stood, arms limp by her side and eyes more open than usual. “Now, get out of my fucking sight before i do something I might regret!” Kiara moved quickly as he released her and headed straight for her room. JC turned to face Caitlin and Cory who both looked at him with awe.
“Sorry,” he mumbled. “I’ll, er, leave, if you want?” People had filed into the kitchen and watched on in amazement.
“Yall better go,” Caitlin said to them and turning to JC, she hugged him. “Thanks for having my back.”
“For sure, baby girl,” He heaved a sigh of relief. She wasn’t angry with him if anything she liked what he had done. Cory returned to Emily who was sitting up in bed, eyes wide as saucers.
“What happened?” She asked and Cory closed the door quietly behind him. “Let’s just say Kiara finally got the mouthful even Lexie wasn’t capable of and much more.” They laughed gently and she took the water gratefully. The barbecue had been a blast on so many levels and Caitlin and Emily were glad it took place. Lexie on the other hand couldn’t care less about what happened while Kiara was finally realising she did not belong here.