Feelings right now

It’s been a horrific and yet celebratory few weeks. My sister gave birth to Kai Thomas last Wednesday and all is well there so thank you to whoever for keeping them both safe. I’m still fighting with myself on so many levels and nothing seems at all simple at the moment. I’ve downloaded a few great programmes for the mac which I love, open office and onyx and now marsedit, a blogging programme, so cool. Anyways, things have gotten complicated and I’ve gotten frustrated and anyone who knows me well knows that frustration + me = a disaster waiting to happen.

Sometimes i think I want too much and then other times I’m like no, I really deserve those things. A part of me thinks I’m a sppoilt little bitch and then my good nature conflicts with myself causing internal warfare. It’s not amusing. lol. Well I guess it is.

I made a decision, I have to watch out for myself, no one else is going to take care of me, just me. And another decision I made was that I am going to LA to visit my friends this year for sure. I’m not moving out yet, sorry mum and dad but hello, credit crunch. I’m still looking for a job and also planning on applying for more volunteer roles. You gotta do what you gotta do right?

Well, very frustrated and confused and not sure what’s going on, but I have my health, my new nephew and my beautiful gide dog Bailey so what more is there? O and my wonderful friends! love you all!

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